You’re doing better than you think: helping children thrive through divorce

Supporting your children through separation goes so much further than one difficult conversation - but knowing how to keep showing up for them is something many parents struggle with.

Kate is joined by Hannah Strong, therapist, separated mum and founder of My Thriving Child, to explore what children really need from their parents during and after a separation. Drawing on science, psychology and her own lived experience, Hannah shares her framework for helping children not just cope - but thrive.

They explore:

• Why it's not about getting it perfect – and the reassuring research behind that
• What's really going on in your child's brain when family life changes
• How to spot the signs your child might be struggling, even when they seem fine
• Why the first conversation about your separation is just the beginning
• The small everyday actions that help your children build security and thrive

This episode is for any parent going through separation who wants to do right by their children - whether they're at the very start of the process or years down the line.

Meet Hannah Strong

Hannah Strong is a therapist, coach and separated mum who specialises in helping parents to support their children in the best way possible through divorce - so their children do not just survive, but genuinely thrive. You can learn more about how Hannah can help your family on the My Thriving Child website and you can follow her on Instagram for more helpful tips.

More divorce resources

Need expert help right now?

Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert for guidance on the legal, financial, emotional or co-parenting aspects of separation. Or explore our Separating with Children Service – a 90-minute joint session with a Co-parenting Specialist tailored to your family’s needs.

Want ongoing support through separation?

Join amicable space for bonus podcast episodes, exclusive webinars and articles on co-parenting and an interactive community where you can share questions and get expert advice from amicable specialists. Start your free trial here.

Kate’s book amicable divorce includes dedicated chapters on co-parenting, with practical guidance on supporting your children's wellbeing, talking to them in age-appropriate ways and building a cooperative co-parenting relationship that reduces conflict. Find it on Amazon today.

Want to stay organised as co-parents?

Download our free Parenting Plan template to help you and your co-parent agree on shared goals, routines and decision-making – with your children at the centre.

Try the amicable co-parenting app free for three months. Share calendars, track expenses and communicate clearly. iPhone: Redeem your three months free via this link Android: Download the app and create an account. At the paywall, choose your payment method, select 'Redeem code' and enter DIVORCEPODCAST.

Got a question for a future episode?

Share your thoughts at hello@amicable.co.uk or through direct messages on Instagram.

Sources referenced in this episode

• Tronick, E. Z., & Gianino, A. F. (1986). The Transmission of Maternal Disturbance to the Infant. In E. Z. Tronick & T. Field (Eds.), Maternal Depression and Infant Disturbance (New Directions for Child Development, No. 34, pp. 5-11). Jossey-Bass.
• Amato, P. R., Loomis, L. S., & Booth, A. (1995). Parental Divorce, Marital Conflict, and Offspring Well-Being During Early Adulthood. Social Forces, 73(3), 895-915.
• Kelly, J. B., & Emery, R. E. (2003). Children's Adjustment Following Divorce: Risk and Resilience Perspectives. Family Relations, 52(4), 352-362.
• Masten, A. S. (2001). Ordinary Magic: Resilience Processes in Development. American Psychologist, 56(3), 227–238.
• Luthar, S. S., Cicchetti, D., & Becker, B. (2000). The Construct of Resilience: A Critical Evaluation and Guidelines for Future Work. Child Development, 71(3), 543–562.
• Rutter, M. (2012). Resilience as a Dynamic Concept. Development and Psychopathology, 24(2), 335–344.
• Masten, A. S., & Reed, M.-G. J. (2002). Resilience in Development. In C. R. Snyder & S. J. Lopez (Eds.), Handbook of Positive Psychology (pp. 74–88). Oxford University Press.
• Werner, E. E., & Smith, R. S. (1992). Overcoming the Odds: High Risk Children from Birth to Adulthood. Cornell University Press.
• Bowlby, J. (1969/1982). Attachment and Loss. Vol. 1: Attachment.
• Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of Attachment.
• Sroufe, L. A., Egeland, B., Carlson, E., & Collins, W. A. (2005). The Development of the Person: The Minnesota Study of Risk and Adaptation from Birth to Adulthood.
• van IJzendoorn, M. H., & Sagi-Schwartz, A. (2008). Cross-Cultural Patterns of Attachment: Universal and Contextual Dimensions. In Handbook of Attachment (2nd ed.).